if i wake up blind with the sun in my eyes beating on my brow through the car window. if i close my eyes will i miss pink skies being overcome by black clouds above. but i m too scared to explain why only days ago i m sure i died. the brilliance of the rocks below, i m in control at the edge on my own. arguments and solace from the book inside the dresser drawer. curled up on the bathroom floor billy s on the radio. if lady day could only know how she s saving me now. and i will fly away in time. and i will learn to forgive myself.