I was driving down the street,
Tapping to the beat,
When I hit a coppers car.
He went real hypo,
A total syco,
He brandished a meatal bar.

It took some courage, but I kicked him in the head.
I shouted "Eat Porridge" as he lay down and bled.
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"

I was downing alcohol,
Drank too many in a row,
When I threw up on a bikie.
He brandised a club.
Shouted "Hey Bub!"
I knew he didn't like me.

It took some courage, but I kicked him in the head.
I shouted "Eat Porridge" as he lay down and bled.
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"

I was pushing along a trolley,
Sucking on a lolly,
When I hit a real old lady.
She looked at me,
Went off her tree,
Although she was nearly 80!

It took some courage, but she kicked me in the head.
She shouted "Eat Porridge" as I lay down there and bled.
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"
"Eat Porridge"

Now I tell you, there's a moral to this story,
I don't eat porridge any more.
I now eat poptarts, a piece of toast,
I also eat cereals. But I don't eat:
You wanna hear? ("yeah")
You wanna hear? ("yeah")
You wanna hear? ("yeah")
I don't eat PORRIDGE!
Eat porridge!
Eat porridge!
Eat porridge!