Cast:

Freddie -
Bill Campion

Darlise -
Bill Campion

Roommate
(a.k.a. Darlise) -
Bill Campion

[F] I know she's home
[R] Hello
[F] Hello, may I speak to Darlise please?
[R] She's not in right now
[F] Yeah, but that woman's never in, I mean can you just tell her
Freddie called
[R] Sure to
[F] Uh, uh, and one more thing. If she don't want to talk to me why
don't she just tell me herself. Why is she got to get her
roommate to do it?
[D,R] I'm sorry Freddie, this is Darlise. I didn't mean to leave you
hangin' on a string like I did.
[F] If you're seein' another -
[D] There's no other man Freddie, It's just that - I've got my *own*
home now, my *own* life, my *own* job! I'm a working woman!
[F] Yeah, just 'cause a man loses his job doesn't mean you got to go
dumpin' him on his ass!
[D] I can't talk any longer, I gotta go
[F] All right baby, I guess I'll talk to you later - at some point -
have a nice life - do what you want (click!)

Suddenly a woman leaves me - I've got no job - a machine relieved me
Suddenly I've lost my piece of pie
I'm now in mourning and I wear all blue
That's the color you wear when the dead one's *you*
Suddenly I am living in a lie
My woman's off with some other guy

[Nostalgic, pensive F ] I can remember the first time I saw her. She
was hangin' out in one of those singles bars. Wearin' a really fancy
dress - drinkin' a really expensive mixed drink - smokin' one of those
Marlboro 100's with the big fancy plastic filters on the end. Made
her look like she had class, least I thought so. But then suddenly
the bitch left me - all of a sudden like something suddenly

Suddenly I'm on my own
I don't hear no rings on the telephone
And all the rings I've given her have been returned

I cling to clothes she used to wear
Then I try them on and style my hair
Suddenly I could never be as fine as she
I've got her eyes - but I sure don't have her teeth

[F] I can remember when we would take walks around the public pool -
and the way she would look at me - and the way she would do this
whistle and how I would feel - I'm gonna try and show you what it was
like (whistling)

Suddenly I found myself drinking from the lowest shelf
And all of a sudden I just could not believe my eyes
There goes some guy walkin' down the street wearing my tie

[F] Suddenly I'm not gonna let another man take my woman. Not even
death can do us part. Because when I'm an angel, I'm gonna come down
from heaven and I'm gonna buy her a brand new Cadillac. I'm gonna buy
her a brand new Cadillac!!

Let me tell you why - let me tell everybody why - Because in the 50's
it was pompadours - and in the 60's it was peace - in the 70's -
bellbottoms - I don't know why - in the 80's Ronald Reagan - BMW's -
sushi - back home we used that for fertilizer - but in the 90's LOVE -
love is the new fad - I love you - good God almighty I love you Ya da
da da da da da da da da da da....

Suddenly I have found myself ali